Paladin's Pizza Sonic HIGHSCHOOL adventure with friends
by PaladinPizza
Summary: Knuckles Jr. was red.
1. Chapter 1

Attention reader, the following was discovered in a giant crater. Due to the sheer amazingness of this work of art, many people thought it was written by god himself… as a suicide note.

-Anne Frank the Hedgehog

The following is a parody, uploaded for the mentally handicapped enjoyment of myself.

This is a ¨Fan-Fiction Parody,¨ as in a parody of fan-fictions…

Bad ones.

Chatper 1:

Paladin awoke and banged his head on the bottom of Tim's bed like a fat guy belly-flopping into the water.

¨Ouch,¨ said Paladin, looking as attractive as usual. Paladin crawled out from under the bed and stood up. ¨Good morning world, said Paladin¨ said Paladin. He looked around and noticed Tim was already gone. Tim had classes every day so Paladin wasn't surprised. He walked over to the Living Room and was shocked to find that nobody was here either. Odd, usually John was on the couch in the mornings, Yiffing it up and such. He noticed that John's Body pillow with _Valentine_ from _Skullgirls_ was clean…

Too clean.

Paladin walked over to the couch.

Eden was nowhere to be found.

Paladin sprinted over to the fridge, praying to whatever religious deity the reader may-or-may not worship, that his precious Scottish friend, Grumpy, was alright. Paladin flung open the door and saw that Grumpy was also missing.

¨NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!111!¨ cried the man-candy known as PaladinPizza. He banged on the door for several hours, until he noticed that there was a secret passage underneath. Paladin got down on his hands and knees.

 _¨Maybe I should to see if Lexi is okay?¨_ Thought Paladin.

Nah, Lexi was probably going at it with Shaggy and Zarya, and Paladin, being the perfect delicious man-candy that he is, didn't want to spoil her fun. So Paladin crawled through the hole for several minutes until he fell into the locker of Sonic, the fastest, coolest, blackest, and second smartest thing alive!

¨Whoa bro, what're you doing in there?¨ said Sonic.

¨All my friends are missing except Lexi who is most likely getting AIDS from Shaggy and Zarya.¨ said Paladin.

Sonic said ¨okay¨ and Paladin said ¨Can you help me¨ and Legolas said ¨Nice boyfriend sonic¨ and Sonic killed Legolas with his ball disease and then said ¨k¨ and then Paladin said ¨Hooray¨ and then the narrator passed out from not being able to read because the writer doesn't understand punctuation holy mother of god.

Paladin followed Sonic around for an hour or so until Lunch, when everyone tried to rape Paladin but I won go into detail because right now I'm literally in Health class and I don't my teachers to think that I'm more autistic than they already perceive me to be.

Everyone was trying to get some of Paladin until Knuckles Jr put a stop to it all. Knuckles Jr. was red.

¨Everyone, calm down.¨ Knuckles Jr. cried. Knuckles Jr. was red. Everyone stopped and looked at Knuckles Jr. Knuckles Jr. was red.

¨We need to help this traveller find his friends!" explained Knuckles Jr, who was red.

¨And why should we do that?¨ asked Shadow.

¨Because it'll finally give us something productive to do in our lives,¨ said Knuckles, who was a baby.

And so they started a planet wide search for everyone and found clues to the location of the friends of Paladins. So they sent him there and they all went back to Lunch.

Chatber 2:

Paladin hopped off of the plane and walked off to the local College to find his friends because that is where the clues told him they were and they were there. His guide was a nice young lady named Mary Sue Violet. Violet was really normal except for she had abnormally large boobs.

¨Don´t you have back problems?¨ asked Paladin.

¨Nope.¨ said Violet, who then proceeded to trip down 12 flights of stairs and drop over 12,000 books in hopes that some hot anime guy would pick them all up and then Boku no Pico her up if you know what I'm saying because being clumsy is sexy for some reason.

Paladin decided to keep walking alone.

Paladin came to the place where his friends were being kept. His foot was like a Boeing and the door was like a World Trade Center in September. The door exploded and Paladin killed everyone. Princess Peach was there as well and took him into the nearest closet. After 12 solid hours of unrealistic expectations, the closet door opened and Espio's New England Clam chowder spilled everywhere. Knuckles Jr. was red.

Paladin rescued his Swedish friend, Grumpy first because smol people go first. He then rescued Eden, because she had a gun and would shoot him. He then rescued Tyler and John at the same time because Knuckles Jr. was red. And then he rescued Tim and carried his sleeping body to the plane where he lift him with the others. Paladin then grabbed Lexi who was actually kidnapped and dragged her to the plane. Then Paladin had to save Lexi's Jewish, Bisexual ass because she was choking on at least 12 Chocolate Wafers, that were on fire.

12 HOURS LATER:

Tim awoke and found a note next to his bed. In the morning, they found his dead body lying in bed holding a note. They determined the cause of death to be shock. For many days, they searched the scene, searching for any clues to his death.

In the end, all they were able to find was a piece of paper, still gripped in the cold clutched of Tim's gay neko hand.

¨Tim Play Undertale,¨ it said.

TO BE CONTINUED…?


	2. Chatper 2

Attention reader, the following was discovered in a giant crater. Due to the sheer amazingness of this work of art, many people thought it was written by god himself… as a suicide note.

-Anne Frank the Hedgehog

The following is a parody, uploaded for the mentally handicapped enjoyment of myself.

This is a ¨Fan-Fiction Parody,¨ as in a parody of fan-fictions…

Bad ones.

Chatper 1:

Paladin awoke and banged his head on the bottom of Tim's bed like a fat guy belly-flopping into the water.

¨Ouch,¨ said Paladin, looking as attractive as usual. Paladin crawled out from under the bed and stood up. ¨Good morning world, said Paladin¨ said Paladin. He looked around and noticed Tim was already gone. Tim had classes every day so Paladin wasn't surprised. He walked over to the Living Room and was shocked to find that nobody was here either. Odd, usually John was on the couch in the mornings, Yiffing it up and such. He noticed that John's Body pillow with _Valentine_ from _Skullgirls_ was clean…

Too clean.

Paladin walked over to the couch.

Eden was nowhere to be found.

Paladin sprinted over to the fridge, praying to whatever religious deity the reader may-or-may not worship, that his precious Scottish friend, Grumpy, was alright. Paladin flung open the door and saw that Grumpy was also missing.

¨NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!111!¨ cried the man-candy known as PaladinPizza. He banged on the door for several hours, until he noticed that there was a secret passage underneath. Paladin got down on his hands and knees.

 _¨Maybe I should to see if Lexi is okay?¨_ Thought Paladin.

Nah, Lexi was probably going at it with Shaggy and Zarya, and Paladin, being the perfect delicious man-candy that he is, didn't want to spoil her fun. So Paladin crawled through the hole for several minutes until he fell into the locker of Sonic, the fastest, coolest, blackest, and second smartest thing alive!

¨Whoa bro, what're you doing in there?¨ said Sonic.

¨All my friends are missing except Lexi who is most likely getting AIDS from Shaggy and Zarya.¨ said Paladin.

Sonic said ¨okay¨ and Paladin said ¨Can you help me¨ and Legolas said ¨Nice boyfriend sonic¨ and Sonic killed Legolas with his ball disease and then said ¨k¨ and then Paladin said ¨Hooray¨ and then the narrator passed out from not being able to read because the writer doesn't understand punctuation holy mother of god.

Paladin followed Sonic around for an hour or so until Lunch, when everyone tried to rape Paladin but I won go into detail because right now I'm literally in Health class and I don't my teachers to think that I'm more autistic than they already perceive me to be.

Everyone was trying to get some of Paladin until Knuckles Jr put a stop to it all. Knuckles Jr. was red.

¨Everyone, calm down.¨ Knuckles Jr. cried. Knuckles Jr. was red. Everyone stopped and looked at Knuckles Jr. Knuckles Jr. was red.

¨We need to help this traveller find his friends!" explained Knuckles Jr, who was red.

¨And why should we do that?¨ asked Shadow.

¨Because it'll finally give us something productive to do in our lives,¨ said Knuckles, who was a baby.

And so they started a planet wide search for everyone and found clues to the location of the friends of Paladins. So they sent him there and they all went back to Lunch.


End file.
